No, I spent a lot more of my time and effort on making sure I was heard instead. It was very important for me to insist on getting my point across to anyone that would let me.
In over 50 years, I would hope that I have learned a few skills in the listening department. I try my best to be a good listener to my friends, family and co-workers.
However, with all that 2020 has thrown at us in the last several months, it has become apparent that a crash course in the fine art of listening might be in order.
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| Image source: Canva |
With a pandemic, an election and so much more in the news this year, it has honestly looked like our communication skills have taken a turn for the worse.
In person and on social media, I have witnessed a multitude of talking, shouting, sharing of opinions, passing along of memes/images and so forth.
If I could put all of it into a visual, I think it would look something like this:
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| Image source: Canva |
This picture reminds me of that child I described above that is demanding to be heard by anyone that would listen.
This is not communicating. It is only a mere fraction. Real communication and understanding comes with LISTENING.
WHAT IS LISTENING?
- Listening is truly understanding what a person is trying to say. If a friend is telling you about something personal, listen to where it is coming from, why they may feel what they feel.
- Listening is remembering that other people will have other experiences, backgrounds and perspectives than you. This is what makes us the beautiful, individual souls that we are.
- Listen to the character of the person that is talking to you. The old expression, "Reputation is what you do when someone is watching; Character is what you do when noone is watching" applies very well here. Who we chose to listen to will affect what we hear.
Using Listening Skills in Real-Life Situations
Recently, a friend shared on Facebook how she had felt upon meeting me & other friends at our class reunion. I had previously gotten to know her on FB a little when I had reconnected with her husband/my classmate.
She has given me permission to share this with others. I would like you to read her words, as you use your newfound listening skills. Her story is important to share, but you need to be listening to hear all she is saying.
"When my husband wanted to come to the class reunion, I was hesitant to go. I was afraid that because he was married to me that people would not want to be around us. When he started introducing me to his former classmates at the reunion, my heart was racing. Waiting for someone to make a remark or see in their body language that they were uncomfortable with our interracial marriage."
She discovered through the course of the evening, that there was nothing to worry about from us. However, this does not discount how she felt. By truly listening to her words, this message hit me deep down to my soul.
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| Image source: Canva |
Last Thoughts
Learning the Fine Art of Listening is truly a valuable skill that will enrich your life immensely. Everyone has a story to tell. If we just remember to stop talking and shouting every once in a while, we may just learn something from each other.
~~Are you a good listener? Let me know your thoughts?~~
